For 200 years the United States was a brown-spirits nation, and our culture was dominated by whiskey and bourbon (think of Kentucky’s famed Bourbon Trail, Jack Daniel’s, the Whiskey Rebellion of the early 1790s).
and:
“But it is the chicken breast of cocktails. It is the most boring, least thoughtful, sort of one that you can mix with. For a craft bartender—someone who believes in humanity—this stuff is just a joke and will fade away.”
Sometimes chicken breast is good, but not often, and not without a ridiculous amount of work. I'm also a little disturbed by how precious drinking has got over the last two decades or so. I blame the MADD mothers and the abolition of the three martini lunch.
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| It's lunchtime, brah. |
A german foreign exchange student in high school once told me that in Germany they had a legal drinking age of when ever the fuck you wanted, and a driver's licensing age of 18. That way, you learned to handle your booze BEFORE you got behind the wheel. You knew, going into your driver's ed class what you could drink that would pink your nose, and more importantly how much booze would keep you from regulating your shit. Here in America, though, we figured it was safer to give a kid who's AT BEST a raging bag of hormones and acne scars a 2 - 3 ton mechanical beast and only when they are confident in their driving skills (as all teenagers are) allow them to even consider buying booze.
Tell me, you know any sober 21 year olds you'd trust behind the wheel of an automobile? How about on their 21st birthday when they're getting to celebrate being "grown up as shit" and drunk off their ass for the first legal time in their lives?
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| Seriously, who spray painted the duck? |
Seems like it might be safer to let the shine and mystique of getting shit-faced wear off BEFORE we gave them the means with which to kill everyone in the neighborhood, but the MADD-hatters want to protect the children from the devil rum.
But remember the definition of alcohol related accidents: if I was transporting someone who had a drink up to 16 hours ago, it would still be "aclohol related." If I was on the way to buy beer for a party I was having the next day, it's alcohol related. MADD uses accounting tricks that would make the ENRON guys blush. (How's THAT for a topical reference? See young people, I'm just like you!!!)
Returning to the MAIN point, though, the reason I think MADD (and their ilk) is to blame is that by banning something, you make it unsurpassingly enticing to teenagers. If you gave a 13 year old a hangover, he'd be a hell of a lot less likely to binge drink the next weekend. He might still fancy some booze, but he'd be gun shy of the aftermath. Someone who drinks less, will drink better. Whisky, by definition, is better than Vodka.
Vodka: a neutral spirit so distilled, or treated after distillation with charcoal or other materials, as to be without distinctive character, aroma, taste or color.
Whisky: Awesomeness distilled and made widely available to the average Joe
Ergo, MADD causes binge drinking, teenage dd deaths, and the rise of Vodka as the white trash drink of choice, and by extension the popularity of Jersey Shore.
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