I'm never touching people again. Except maybe violently.

What other choice do I have?

Ninety-one percent of adults claimed in the poll that they washed their hands after using a public restroom. But of the 6,336 adults whose behavior was observed, only 82 percent actually did so.

You nasty, untrained bitches need to wash your god-damned hands.  Filthy motherfuckers.

The telephone poll asked about hand washing in other situations as well. Fewer than half of adults said they always washed after touching a pet, sneezing or handling money. Washing hands after changing a baby's diaper is also far from a universal habit, with only 64 percent of men and 82 percent of women reporting that they did so. And most people wash up before handling food, but by no means all: 23 percent of adults said they regularly handled food without first washing.

I can never eat again.  That's great.

This is more literal than I had supposed.  How awful.

Took me a minute to realize

but this is all done in computer graphics, or "CG" for you kids out there.

Hugh Laurie is not only English...

he's also a musician.

Mood Regulation

Mood regulation

Because no one ought to have to write 4 department budgets in two days.

God is an Iron

If a felon commits a felony, then naturally an iron would commit...

Drug-testing is the latest rage at the St. Clair County courthouse. Why not? They’ve got a judge in rehab for heroin. Not just a judge, either. The drug court judge. Actually, the former drug court judge. He has offered to resign. They’ve got another judge dead of cocaine intoxication. He was partying with the drug court judge. Furthermore, the man who has admitted supplying the cocaine to the judges works in the probation office.

But your honor...

...you see what she was wearing?  She was practically begging for it.

Summed up nicely, I think.

This is without a doubt, one of the clearest glimpses you'll ever have of the mindset of the average baby-boomer.  This is the generation that cast Gordon Gecko as the villain, but sucked off his hind tit to the tune of ALL THE DOLLARS.

You know what?  You people are not, as one commentor to the article says, biting the hand that will feed you for the next 25 years.  You're biting the hand that WOULD HAVE fed, clothed and kept you for the next 25 years.

Just hurry up and die, already.  Fuck.