Mental Health Fit Test

I've got an appointment with the staff psychologist tomorrow morning.  We don't get on well at all.  For some reason over the past 18 months or so he has consistently tried to cheer me up.

"Smile! It's a great day!"

"Drop dead, loser."

"What?"

"You heard me doc.  Don't tell me what to do."

That was one of the most productive meetings we've shared.  I see this guy a lot, which is weird because I work nights, and he's a day-walker.  Our paths shouldn't cross.  I'm convinced he's made a project of me, which will no doubt signal to him that I need to be made into a project.  At our last session a year ago he asked why I was so depressed.  I told him I didn't think I was (and can I please go home to sleep?).  He insisted.  Said that my being angry was a symptom of depression.

How can you get an advanced degree in psychology without understanding that anger is sometimes just anger?  At the time of that session last year I was working 7 days a week and 16 hours a day.  I hadn't seen my kid for more than five minutes at a time in a month.  My partner had just put in his two weeks notice, meaning I was going to be the only cop on shift.  My chief had just quit the post about two minutes ahead of being fired for 6 months of drunk on duty and chasing off all the cops that worked for her. I was looking at 16 hours a day in charge of night security for a place where I get in fights about once a week with crazy people who's only crime was being off their meds or on the wrong ones.  I was pissed.

And this asshole says I should smile.

"Smiles are free, man, don't keep them to yourself!"

"Fuck off you god damned hippie shit."

Tomorrow is going to be interesting.  I described what I though about psychology to him last week during one off his "coincidental" visits to the cop shop. For the first time he left without that stupid grin of his.  He asked me why he never seens me smile, even now that we have "enough officers."

"What do you mean enough?  What the fuck is enough?"

"Well you've got all these new guys..."

"Not one of whom carry a gun, or have a badge or can stand a shift."

"But they're about to go to the academy, right?  They'll be back soon and you can have some time off."

"You mean the academy that not one person from this station has completed since february of last year?  The one that I was the last officer to come out of for this station?  That academy?  These four men aren't going to be any help, they're just four more opportunities to be disappointed."

"That's no way to look at it."

"How would you look at it, doc?  Would you bet large on a player with a .100 batting average?"

"It's not like that."

"Drop dead.  It is exactly like that.  In two years they've fucked up the hiring on 9 out of 10 people who've applied for the job.  Four of them are still here for some reason.  Leave me alone, I have work to do."

Tomorrow, 0830.  Should be great.