Well, instead of dealing with this problem head-on and trying to find the perfect person to play the new Ash, it looks like the creative minds behind this new Evil Dead are throwing us a curveball. In this movie, the main character is no longer Ash. Ash is now Mia, and the role is going might be played by…Lily Collins.
I know what you’re asking yourself right now, you’re asking yourself, “Who the heck is Lily Collins?” I know, I had the same reaction. Well, she’s a young actress who was not only in the movie Priest (did anyone go see that one?), but she was also the daughter in The Blind Side. Oh, and she is also Phil Collins’ daughter.
Yeah. That just happened. Good-bye terrible-pun-making, wise-cracking, slightly-assholeish action hero, hello women's lib sop thrown to the masses to make EVIL FUCKING DEAD more palatable to the tween set.
 |
| Look at it. Look at what you have done, feminists. You ruin every god-damned thing you touch. |
Let's guess how long until this vapid personality bucket says something about how it's "rilly kewl" and references Twilight. A week? As much as three days?
I totally understand why they chose a woman for the lead. They want to sell it as some hot skank in the woods getting her clothes ripped off for the "dudes, and bros, and dude-bros" while avoiding the whole question of whether you can kill a woman in a movie these days. Answer: you can't.
Not unless she's talented, a christian, or a right-winger. Those are the accepted women in hollywood to beat up. All the others, every single one, is chock full of grrrl power and can legitimately stand toe-to-toe in a fist fight with any man on the planet and is sexy at any size and probably smarter than everyone.
But don't you dare pick on them, because that's mean and nasty and not fair and patriarchal which we're told by ugly women with short hair is a bad word.
 |
| Looks like someone already got smashed. In the face. With a patriarchal ugly tree. She's not pretty. |
Pick a lane, Gloria! What do you want? Equality or nice treatment? If you settle for equality, you have to settle for being treated like a man, which typically is pretty shitty.
 |
| The best of both worlds? |
You slut walkers want to dress like the blue light special, feel free. Please, we men love seeing your pallid, lumpy flesh paraded about in hot pants and training bras. When we stare you get to call us perverts, and when we look away you calls us assholes for trying to shame you into acting like women, or horror of horrors, "Ladies." After all, well behaved women rarely make history, right? Guess what ladies? Women don't tend to make history, they tend, like 99.999% of the world, to benefit from it.
 |
| Give me all the power, none of the responsibility. Sounds fair, right? |
Who wants to bet that this Evil Dead is going to try to hammer this Lily Collins into an Ash-shaped hole (yes, an Ash-hole...), using attitude instead of humor and grrrl power instead of "Hail to the King" style bravado? She will undoubtedly have an evil female tree demon to fight before the final boss battle (which has to be a male, obviously). In the battle with the female tree demon, she will use the word "bitch" no fewer than three times, because... well, I'm not sure really.
Feminists are unclear about whether they're proud to be called words like "bitch," and "slut" and "smelly rotten cunt loser" or whether their use is akin to a hate crime. Reginald Denny never got called a slut, so it must be a pretty bad word, right?
 |
| "Whore!" |
Women should project an innocence. Women, whatever their actual personalities, should still wish to project a public innocence. Innoncence is what makes men want to protect women, rather than just want them. Wanting them is part of it, sure, but being worthy of protection is the huge majority of why men will give up their lives for women.
A lady can be beautiful, or even simply pretty, but the best a slattern can hope for is "hot." The difference should be readily apparent. One is valued for what she is, and will continue to be forever, while the other is valued for what she looks like right this minute. When the whore hits the wall on looks, life is over for her. Her and whatever poor soul she trapped into throwing away his life and fortune for her.
 |
| Doesn't he get your juices going, ladies? Woo-hoo! Hot stuff coming through! |
No comments:
Post a Comment