Fear the Future! (Pandemic Edition)

I can think of few ways I'd rather die than Bird Flu.  Something that sounds so damnably cute has to be awesome, right?  I mean, BIRD FLU? Who names these diseases?  I would have called it "bloody genitals."  Maybe the disease doesn't actually involve bloody genitals, but it would sure as hell sound a lot scarier than "bird flu."

Here's a tip, science guys: Birds Are Not Scary.  Mr. Hitchcock helped us resolve our fear of them through exposure therapy.

Also? I'm no longer afraid of homicidal transvestites.  Thanks, Mr. Hitchcock!

Phantom Time

Yeah, it's probably all bunkum, but how could we know?  (Other than the idea that a conspiracy with more than three people is doomed to failure...)

The Phantom Time Hypothesis suggests that the early Middle Ages (614-911 A.D.) never happened, but were added to the calendar long ago either by accident, by misinterpretation of documents, or by deliberate falsification by calendar conspirators. This would mean that all artifacts ascribed to those three centuries belong to other periods, and that all events thought to have occurred during that same period occurred at other times, or are outright fabrications. For instance, a man named Heribert Illig (pictured), one of the leading proponents of the theory, believes that Charlemagne was a fictional character. But what evidence is this outlandish theory based upon?

It seems that historians are plagued by a plethora of falsified documents from the Middle Ages, and such was the subject of an archaeological conference in München, Germany in 1986. In his lecture there, Horst Fuhrmann, president of the Monumenta Germaniae Historica, described how some documents forged by the Roman Catholic Church during the Middle Ages were created hundreds of years before their “great moments” arrived, after which they were embraced by medieval society. This implied that whomever produced the forgeries must have very skillfully anticipated the future… or there was some discrepancy in calculating dates.

Hey! (part 2)

Remember when I said we're going to war with Iran?  We'll the chief spook of the state department says I was right.

In the interview, Panetta also refused to rule out military action to prevent Iran from obtaining nuclear weapons but unlike previous statements he made no mention of the potential risks associated with a strike that he has warned of repeatedly.
“If they proceed and we get intelligence that they’re proceeding in developing a nuclear weapon, then we will take whatever steps are necessary to stop it,” Panetta said.

Also, apparently even though we've famously relied on inspectors before, Mr. Panetta is convinced they'd be helpful here, too:

The Pentagon insisted Panetta’s view of Iran’s nuclear project had not changed and stressed that if Tehran made the decision to produce weapons-grade uranium, it would be detected by UN inspectors who have regular access to the country’s facilities.
“Should they make a decision to move to highly enriched uranium, those inspectors would be able to readily detect it,” Captain John Kirby told reporters.

Does all this sound familiar? It really should.  Really, really.

It's like an episode of America Meets World.  We win the Nobel Prize in the Stupidity Olympics.

So the solution to government agents exceeding their authority is to increase the authority in order to catch up to the agents.

Lynchburg Commonwealth's Attorney Michael R. Doucette agreed that failure to have proof of insurance while driving is not illegal.
"Rather, the offense is having an uninsured motor vehicle and not paying the uninsured motorist fee of $500 per year," Doucette said.
Doucette said requiring drivers to present either proof of insurance or proof of payment of the uninsured vehicle fee would go a long way to clear up the confusion. The General Assembly has considered such a mandate at least three times, but has never passed it.

Get that?  It's not illegal, it's not even "incorrect" as some asshat said in the article. But the commonwealth has been treating as such and now in some bizarre attempt to grandfather their law into effect, it will become illegal, and legally speaking it will have been illegal.




It's the only option, really...



Also, isn't the English language amazing?  "It will have been" is the future tense of a past tense.  Fun!

The turkey man

Somehow, I don't think this guy will wind up like the grizzly man.  It would be tragically hilarious if he did, though.

Obviously a narrow escape...

I know, I know...

I tend to recommend people several times in a row (case in point, Fred, Fred and Fred), but when I run across something sufty-gee-whiz-nifty I tend to want you to read it.  If it happens to be every article an author wirtes for two months (Ol Remus...) then that's just how it works.

Speaking of "how it works," the Incredible Hulk discusses the Hulk Movies and explaining the joke and why articles can and mostly should be really, really long.

#7. - SOME THEN ARGUE "Fine, if you're so convinced the writing works, it's still way too long to read." HULK ARGUE THE WRITING NOT LONG, THE SUBJECTS ARE LONG. THE WORLD IS FULL OF EVERYONE WALKING AROUND TRYING TO PAINT A PICTURE OF REALITY IN THE THE SHORTEST, LEAST COMPREHENSIVE STROKES POSSIBLE. WHICH ISN'T ALWAYS PRODUCTIVE. THIS WILL SOUND ABSURD HULK REALLY JUST TRIES TO TAKE AS LITTLE TIME AS POSSIBLE TO DELVE INTO SUBJECTS WITHOUT CUTTING CORNERS. THINK ABOUT HOW BROAD MOST OF THESE TOPICS ARE. A LOT OF THEM COULD BE FULL-ON BOOKS. SOMETIMES HULK EVEN CAME CLOSE! (HULK'S ACTION COLUMNS WITH TOM TOWNEND TOOK UP 120+ WORD PAGES). SO YUP, THEY'RE LONG! BUT LONG THINGS ARE WORTH IT SOMETIMES TOO. ESPECIALLY BECAUSE THEY SEEM TO BE TOO RARE NOWADAYS. AND IF YOU ARGUE "the internet is for short stuff!" HULK DISAGREE. BOOKS, PAPER, PAGES, ARE FINITE. THE INTERNET IS ENDLESS. HULK CAN LINK TO REAL LIVE VIDEOS YOU CAN INTERACTIVE AND WE CAN COMMENT TOGETHER. THE INTERNET IS NOT SHORT. IT'S ONLY LIMIT IS OUR MINDS.

I really approve of this sort of message.  One of the things I've debated with myself is whether average people have always thought in 140 character units, or if it's a recent adaptation to texting and twitter, and similar bullshit. 

I don't mean that people think "okay, I've got 140 characters to get this thought out, I'd better make it a good one."  Rather, I have noticed that most of the people I deal with tend to have a very shallow understanding of what's going on.  It's possible that they think more deeply about parts of their lives that don't overlap with mine, but I don't see any evidence thereof.  Daily, literally daily, I am astounded at how little even the highly educated participate in their own lives.

This isn't some lame reach-back to high school and the "carpe diem" t-shirts that were popular back in the misty dawn of time.  If anything, people have been carpe-ing too much diem, and ignoring the day after this diem.  Not only no future time orientation, no concept that there is such a thing.

"The possums are coming….”

Not only is Fred a brigand (and likely as not to steal from little old women on their way to church to donate their last coin to the Starving Children Fund*) but he also is apparently against nude beaches for mutants:

Indicates nude beach for mutants. A country that encourages harlotry and promiscuity among the genetically differently-abled is clearly reprehensible.

Who is this evil obviously white man (but I repeat myself) to say that our neighbors the cousin/nephew/sister hybrid can't enjoy a little sun on the un-seen parts of their freakishly piecemeal bodies?  That's just small minded.

These are the mutants he meant, right? What's the problem here, Fred?

* - The Starving Children Fund is obviously a scam; everyone knows you can starve a child for free nowadays.  And yet, no one tells the elderly that the times have changed, and Dr. Malthus provides care free of charge.  The old ones are the REAL victims here.

Surpisingly bad "good news"

Fans of the drug war rejoice! The rest of us should keep quiet while our betters work things out for us.  Really, it's better if we don't have any say in the whole thing. I mean, it's complicated.

The Mexican army announced Sunday that it had captured the head of security for Sinaloa drug cartel head Joaquin "El Chapo" Guzman, one of the world's most wanted men.

The suspect, who was not identified by name, was captured in the Sinaloa state capital of Culiacan and will be presented to the media Monday morning, the army said.

Those of us who are LOYAL Americans would do well to ignore the creeping little doubt that rises up occasionally.  Also, someone should tell the state department about radical nut jobs like this "Fred" person. He's obviously Not To Be Trusted:

The war failed, as anyone with even a vague understanding of the world would have predicted. A war on drugs—foolish phrase—may be said to succeed if the price of drugs rises on the American street. It didn't. It won't.
Things happened that were touted as successes against the traficantes. A fair number of bosses of important cartels were killed or caught. Since Americans confuse leaders with movements and countries, this sounded like progress. Of course if, for example, you kill a leader of the “Taliban,” his second takes over within hours and all goes on as before. And if you kill the leader of a cartel, his underlings fight among themselves for the pieces, thousainds die, and law breaks down. Mexicans know this. The State Department apparently doesn't.

To which I say "harrumph," and also "pish-tosh."  Everyone knows there's no such thing as a war we can't win. Right?

I pretty sure we learned all the right lessons in the 20's, right?  If we outlaw something, people will naturally stay away from it.  Simple!

Hey!

Who wants to start another war in the middle east?  Looks like you just might get your festivus wish!

"The enforcement of the decision to close of the Strait of Hormuz is certainly within Iran's armed forces' capability, but such a decision should be made by the country's top authorities," Iranian Navy commander Habibollah Sayyari was quoted as saying by the semi-official ILNA labor news agency.

Yes, plugging the Strait Of Hormel Chili may very well be within the power of the Iranian Navy, but it's KEEPING it closed that would be the problem.  Also, who wants to bet that this isn't going to happen anyway?  Not me.  Eventually the Gulf of Tonkin will be synonymous with the Straits of Hormones.

Also, while it is definitely within our power to topple the Iranians for humanitarian reasons, and oh-so-coincidentally get our oil going again, we have proven over the last ten years or so to be incapable of actually winning a war against a backwards, illiterate, and most importantly foreign nation.  We have spent ten long years fighting the slack-jawed inbred hillbillies of the world to a draw.  John Wayne wouldn't have stood for this shit.  Of course, John Wayne wouldn't have stood for the Iraq War, either.

How well do you think we'll do in the coming war with Iran?  Without changing the rules by which we operate, I'm willing to bet "not well."




"We may have manufactured the hell out of this emergency, but it IS an emergency now.  Pay raises all around!"



Paging Roger Corman...

You have a telephone call at the front desk, long distance from Florida.

The mosquitoes are genetically modified with a gene designed to kill them unless given an antibiotic known as tetracycline. Offspring of the GM mosquitoes will receive this same lethal gene which will kill the offspring before it can ever reach adulthood. As more genetically modified mosquitoes mate with wild mosquitoes, the idea is that more and more offspring will be produced with the lethal gene, thereby reducing the mosquito population.



I blame it on the younger generation; no one likes watching instructional videos like "The Wasp Woman" anymore. Lazy shits.



Where everybody knows your name

Making your way in the world today, takes everything you got.
Taking a break from all your worries, sure would help a lot.
Wouldn't you like to get away?
Sometimes you wanna go, where everybody knows your name.

Remember: the goal here is fear, not confusion. And that fear can only remain effective as long as the intended audience understands what they’re supposed to be afraid of. 

No, just because this is my mantra while getting dressed for work every night, the article is about Magneto, and I'm not 100% sure I've shared this site with you people and figured that needed to be corrected.

Also, I want to be part of the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants.

I'd even consider spandex, but probably not.

The world as battlefield

I'm very, very leery of the Alex Jones crowd.  I worry that even, no ESPECIALLY, when he writes something I agree with, that I'm falling off into the deep end of paranoia.  As part of my life goal of never starring in a movie with a creature that could bite my head off, it's important to me to avoid sounding like Mel Gibson in conspiracy theory (or in real life, I guess).





That Eat Pray Love movie is stranger than I realized. Also, does she consider eating babies a snack because they're bite-sized?

 

But when someone points out to me that the crazier versions of what the "beared porcupine" said turns out to be not only true, but increasingly likely, I get worried.

Obama had originally threatened to veto the bill, but not over the indefinite-detention clauses. In fact, bill sponsor Senator Carl Levin (D-Mich.) says it was the White House that insisted the language be altered to include American citizens:

The language which precluded the application of Section 1031 to American citizens was in the bill that we originally approved….and the administration asked us to remove (it) which says that US citizens and lawful residents would not be subject to this section.

Under the bill, American citizens can be indefinitely detained without proof merely on suspicion of having supported terrorist groups. Exactly what constitutes such “support” is, as always, the government’s guess.

Does this mean I need to go buy "Catcher in the Rye?"  Or, since I'm technically working for the bad guys, do I get a black helicopter of my own? That would be sweet.

I yam what I yam...

...and that's all that I sweet potato.

The accuracy correlations were comparable in magnitude to those found in other contexts of interpersonal perception and generally stronger than those found in zero-acquaintance contexts. These findings suggest that identity claims are used to convey valid information about personality.

I've always wondered if the huge forearms were a joke about masturbation.

Hi ho, everyone!

That inimitable film critic, the Incredible Hulk, waxes poetic about the muppets.  He does a significantly better job of explaining why everyone should go see the movie than I could that I ask you to please read the article.

Also, read his other stuff.  For being a giant green monster, he's remarkably good at watching movies (which is more of a compliment than it sounds, when I read that out loud...).

Also, possibly the greatest Hulk comic of all time.

Round number post

In order to avoid trying to find the most-perfectest thing ever to write about for the 300th post, I'm just going to write this:

Poop.

That is all.

Wow

This seems... strange.  Yes, that's the word.  Strange.

It's like the artist knew what I was thinking!  Amazing!

Who enjoyed the SAT language section?

I did, and in that spirit, figure this shit out. As the perfect : the good, so the radical : the useful


Answer: the enemy.

So firmly entrenched is our matrimonial role reversal as we go about our activities that most restaurant servers and hotel clerks and salespeople automatically gravitate to my wife and give her all the appropriate attention and deference. When we walk in to a store, or sit down at a table, it’s like I don’t exist. They always address their questions to her, as they should. I assist them in their perceptions of power, I’m sure, by default. I emit absolutely no pay-attention-to-me, head-of-household, decision-maker vibes. This is not by design, but by long practice. It simply never occurs to me. I don’t look up expectantly at approaching waiters or waitresses. If they look at me or address me, I’m not impolite, but rather than respond directly, I defer to her. Without thinking. It is almost automatic that I look at my wife when a question is asked of me.

So this is what, then? The inevitable destination of feminism?  Is a complete switching of the gender roles the short-haired ugly women hated going to make them suddenly nice to be around? Is this what those women really want?

In fact, it is always jarring to me in social settings to see a husband question his wife’s authority, or make some macho remark, to dare to contradict her or to sound off on any subject whatever.



This is a photo from that site.  It is provided un-ironically, and if that doesn't tell you a lot about the mindset of these people, you can't be my friend.



This is like a photo negative of a caricature of the "Father Knows Best" household.  I would bet almost anything you name that a male-run household like this was a vanishingly rare thing even during those decades we were taught to think of as worse than the holocaust, i.e. the 50's and first half of the 60's.

I fail to understand how a fetish became a lifestyle choice. I've read a few of the posts on the WYW site, and perused (the original meaning of the word) some others, too.  I would be hard pressed to overstate their claims; it seems that hyperbole is their main tactic.

They need a formal acknowledgement on the part of the woman that she is in charge and there is an expectation that he will obey her. They need this notion reinforced through task lists, through overt control of his activities, through orgasm denial, through whatever it is that works for both halves of the couple. Yes, a woman that is truly in control in her relationship could choose to do none of these things. However, if she seeks to build a stronger tie with her husband, she needs to nurture his submission and fulfill his needs in much the same way that he needs to satisfy hers.

Are you fucking kidding me?  Seriously, they cannot believe this is a workable solution for more than a strange sad little minority of freakshow escapees, right?

The funniest part for me, is that all the photos of women on the sites are of the "slutty wonder woman" or classic hollywood sexpot variety.  This is funny for two reasons; first though all the pictures they show are like these:

I'd bet money the authors look a little more like this:

The second reason it's funny is that it seems like no matter how hard they protest that the male centric view of the world is evil and naughty and to be fought against, they still pander to us.  They could be doing this for several reasons, but two seem most likely to me. 

First, maybe they're using it as a sort of advertising. "Look guys, hot chicks want to treat you like shit, because we were told by hairy legged ugly women from the sixties that their mothers were treated like shit by their fathers, or something."

Second, maybe we men have actually NOT been foisting a crazy idea of feminine beauty on the world.  Maybe it's NOT Madison avenue that makes Barbie dolls sell like sweet-cheeks (or hot-cakes, whatever).  Maybe, just MAYBE, there is an actual objective standard of beauty. Maybe this standard of beauty is SO damnably universal that even when women get out from under our boot-heels, they can't wait to climb under the four inch stilletos of the SAME DAMN STANDARD.

I dunno.  Maybe it was Utah.

No ulcers for me, bitches!

Because I like to bite the other rats. 

Numerous psychoendocrine studies show that in a stressful or frustrating circumstance, the magnitude of the subsequent stress-repsonse is decreased if the organism is provided with an outlet for frustration. For example, the (glucocorticoid) secretion triggered by electric shock in a rat is diminished if the rat is provided with a bar of wood to gnaw on, a running wheel, or, as one of the most effective outlets, access to another rat to bite.

Yes, I'm lazy. Deal with it.

Reading Remus ought to be required in schools.

Before DC captured the National Guard, before it became a de facto federal auxiliary and reserve, before it was named the National Guard, they were state militias, a fully realized state-level Second Amendment. A cynic would see today's National Guard as federal garrisons merely, DC's de jure armies of occupation. A cynic would see the National Guard and the newly militarized police forces as an emerging duo, the one trained and equipped for urban and local warfare, the other for home invasions and small scale raids. Throughout history the cynics have seldom been wrong. Perhaps after sixty years of undeclared wars we shall now have undeclared military rule.

Funny Religionists

Christers in Santa Monica, which is apparently the name of a city on the western seaboard, are complaining about atheist nativity-style displays.  The shoe pinches a little when it's on the other foot, doesn't it?

Organizers of Santa Monica's well-known Christmas Nativity scene at Palisades Park are accusing atheists of "hijacking" the tradition.

Atheist groups objected to use of the park by churches to espouse a religious message and applied to the city of Santa Monica for their own spaces.

Officials used a lottery to dole out spots in the prime location along Ocean Avenue. The atheists turned out to be the lucky ones: Of the 21 plots in the park open for displays, they won 18.  The Nativity story that once took 14 displays to tell — from the Annunciation, continuing to the manger in Bethlehem and onto infant Jesus' journey to Egypt and back to Nazareth — had to be abridged to three and crammed into two plots.

Welcome to the bughouse

In discussing the idea that all of us are crazy to a certain extent, Geoffrey Miller reveals his naivete:

It remains to be seen whether DSM-5 is written for the convenience of American insurers and FDA officials, or for international scientific accuracy.

Why on Earth would it write something that would incovenience the people who pay for it?  Scientific accuracy be damned, the insurance companies are going to get what they want.

To be fair, there probably are bugs on you, though.

Radical Feminists are Hilarious

Whoa, whoa, whoa, baby... what's got your pretty little head all worked up?

In recent years, studies of male hormones and aggression, the development of the science of social dominance theory, primate studies, and genetics have begun in my opinion to take us very close to the etiology of the underlying sickness. This emphasis on looking at the pathology of male hormonal mechanisms is a new kind of “essentialism” that offers hope, because treatments can be developed to mitigate the death-drive of men, their hierarchical psychology, their insensitivity to the pain of living creatures, their pleasure in violence and intimidation, their acquisitiveness, their rape and phallic obsessions. It’s an exciting development, though the science involved it goes hand in hand with new dangers to women which must be resisted. (Radical Feminism Enters the 21st Century)

 Let's be clear about what's being suggested here: chemical sterilization for men.  Either they believe we're significantly further along in genetics than we currently are, or she doesn't want the human race to survive.

Either way, she's kind of hilarious.

You shut your dirty mouth!

At least, that's what I took away from this oddly pretty post about two of the previous century's greatest thinkers: Hesse and Bueller:

Salvation is possible. Reverse the polarity. Become a quiet-aholic. A noise-ophobic. Bind yourself to the mast such that you may hear the Sirens’ song without succumbing to its allure. The Sirens are not without their charms and increased communication is a net good, but the application of that good is often the opposite. Abjure the elites and the shackles they seek to impose, allow your imagination to flourish rather than atrophy, and relish in a bit of boredom. Listen to the crickets in your backyard. Watch a rainstorm instead of a television show. Remember Ferris Bueller’s advice – Life moves pretty fast. You don’t stop and look around once in a while, you  could miss it.

Extra! Extra!

Men have emotions, too!  Though they're more adept at using them and transmuting them into more helpful emotions than women (womyn?) and thereby experience fewer negative emotions than women.

Recent survey research suggests that women and men do not significantly differ with regard to their overall experience and expression of emotion, although women generally report more negative emotions (Lively and Powell 2006; Simon and Nath 2004; but see Simon and Barrett 2010). Research also suggests that men less frequently engage in emotion management to suppress anger and irritation at work (Erickson and Ritter 2001) and home (Erickson 2005) and that men are more likely than women to efficiently transform one emotion into another (Lively 2008).

Also, before anyone thinks I've given up on making fun of voodoo witchcraft bullshit (psychology, or at least the field of psychology as it stands today), notice how they say "women and men do not significantly differ with regard to their overall experience and expression of emotion" and in the same damn sentence say how radically we differ from women in regard to our overall experience and expression of emotion? What the hell is that?  How hard does this group of feminists (who wanted a reason to gawk at and hang out with super-fit alpha male types and have a university pay for the chance) have to work to rationalize that in their pointy little heads? 

Psychology: it's not a science, it's a religion. There's a reason the L. Ron Hubardites don't like psychology.  The same reason that Catholics and Protestants often clash; they're worshipping the same god, but with different rituals. (The object of the Psychologists' and Hubbardites' adoration is of course man, which is like a more honest version of all the other religions, really)






For several reasons

I'm linking to this little piece for a few reasons.  First, as I think I have mentioned, I'm not a fan of the boomer generation, and I like it when other people beat up on them.

I also like that the author puts the blame at the feet of "the greatest generation." I've felt for a long time that those old shits have been resting on their laurels since they got home from the War. If they hadn't gone half-hard when they came back, I'm sure their kids wouldn't have turned into god-damned dirty apes... er, hippies.  (Same thing, really, though apes tend to smell better.)




And if you'd done a better job, asshole, we could have colonized it, but you left most of it intact.  You and your generation are the WORST imperialist aggressors in history, with the exception of your kids.


Mostly though, I like this bit:

That about captures the asshattery that is the Baby Boomer generation and how they've caused utter economic and cultural stagnation as they've built their idol to Mammon, which is not a Golden Calf, but rather a Golden Mirror.

It just has a nice little ring to it, and since February is coming up, and with it my yearly re-read on the bible, it really caught my attention.

That is all.

Obviously the two things are not connected

Why would they be?  One person has obviously done wrong, while the others are, just as obviously, in need of leniency because they're from a different culture.

It's not that I care about either case, I really don't.  What the Brits do to each other really shouldn't matter except as a signpost to show where we're going. If they want to incarcerate a single mother because she doesn't say nice things, fine. If they want to let obviously racist foreigners beat up their white folks, I guess that's okay too.

It's only the juxtaposition of these two cases that bothers me.

People are Very Strange, Indeed.

Rash of tuba thefts, yes, TUBA THEFTS, plagues Los Angeles.

Whatever happened to getting high and rolling a bum?  I just don't understand kids these days.

Unfamiliar with Boozery

A woman (admittedly British) got beat up by foreigners.  The got away with it because they weren't used to being drunk.

The four women - three sisters and their cousin - were told the charge of actual bodily harm, which carries a maximum sentence of five years, against 22-year-old care worker Rhea Page would normally land them in custody.

However, the judge handed the women suspended sentences after hearing that they were not used to alcohol because their religion does not allow it.

If this becomes an affirmative defense in America, then it seems like first time offenses would all by concatenation be immediately dismissed.  In fact, almost all  crimes would have to have a pattern of repeat offenses to be able to satisfy the burden of proof.

Or possibly, if I took a new drug every time I wanted to kill someone, that should work right?  I'm not used to dropping acid (it's been years and years).  I've never done meth.  That's two people I could kill according to this theory, right?  Or just beat up?  Either way, I'm on board with it, as my list of necessary deletions isn't getting any shorter.

I don't pray, but if I did, this would be on top of my list.

I get all the Posse Comitatus I need at home.

Okay, I'm sorry.  You try to make a pun on Posse Comitatus and see what you come up with.  It's harder than it looks.

That said, it looks like we won't need to worry about making puns about the Posse Comitatus act for long, since apparently it's not in effect anymore.

Janke knew the gunmen could be anywhere on the 3,000-acre spread in eastern North Dakota. Fearful of an armed standoff, he called in reinforcements from the state Highway Patrol, a regional SWAT team, a bomb squad, ambulances and deputy sheriffs from three other counties.

He also called in a Predator B drone.

As the unmanned aircraft circled 2 miles overhead the next morning, sophisticated sensors under the nose helped pinpoint the three suspects and showed they were unarmed. Police rushed in and made the first known arrests of U.S. citizens with help from a Predator, the spy drone that has helped revolutionize modern warfare.

But that was just the start. Local police say they have used two unarmed Predators based at Grand Forks Air Force Base to fly at least two dozen surveillance flights since June. The FBI and Drug Enforcement Administration have used Predators for other domestic investigations, officials said.

Good to know they're only using it against the backward hillbilly types.  Surely they won't come after good ole red blooded, blue blood americans, right?  Rest easy, big brother's looking out for you.




Not all of us can be as sanguine about this as you, Butthead.  Unless by sanguine we mean "bloody." In that case, I assume that most of the nation will be "sanguine" fairly soon.



Is it against store policy or something?

This lady from (where else) Oklahoma was too poor to buy the ingredients to cook some meth at home, so she decided to do it in the store.

Tulsa police arrested a woman for attempting to make meth inside a Walmart store yesterday. Elizabeth Elisha Halfmoon was in the store for six hours. When police finally noticed her, she was "mixing sulfuric acid with starter fluid in a bottle."

Wait, it took SIX FUCKING HOURS to notice this woman?  Holy Buckets, how big is that walmart?  I've lost my family in ours for five or ten minutes at a time, but I'm pretty sure if I started mixing chemicals someone would find me pretty quickly. 

This is actually a strategy I want to try.  Next time we're stuck in Target or Walmart and the kids start acting like little shits (as they will), I'm going to introduce them to chemistry experiments.  A little ammonia, a little bleach, and suddenly junior's asleep in the magazine stand and the baby's talking to Jesus on the Speak-n-Spell in the toy aisle.  It's like a free baby-sitter.

"Experimentation helps us broaden our horizons," said Gallant.  "You've got small titties," said Goofus.

I'm gonna be rich!

Here's news that shouldn't be news.  Assholes make more money than nice guys.

A new study finds that agreeable workers earn significantly lower incomes than less agreeable ones. The gap is especially wide for men.
The researchers examined "agreeableness" using self-reported survey data and found that men who measured below average on agreeableness earned about 18% more—or $9,772 more annually in their sample—than nicer guys. Ruder women, meanwhile, earned about 5% or $1,828 more than their agreeable counterparts.
"Nice guys are getting the shaft," says study co-author Beth A. Livingston, an assistant professor of human resource studies at Cornell University's School of Industrial and Labor Relations.

That bold part is my emphasis.  I think "nice guys get the shaft" works better than "nice guys finish last."

"Nice Guys Get The Shaft." Pimps throughout the ages have known this rule, which is why Ronnie here keeps his pimp hand strong, beeyotch.

All my dreams are coming true!

Or at least one of my more paranoid delusions.  Apparently the Obama administration WAS using the gun walker case to make the argument for gun control.  And they're getting called out on it by the mainstream media.  I honestly don't know how to handle that.

Documents obtained by CBS News show that the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives (ATF) discussed using their covert operation "Fast and Furious" to argue for controversial new rules about gun sales.


In Fast and Furious, ATF secretly encouraged gun dealers to sell to suspected traffickers for Mexican drug cartels to go after the "big fish." But ATF whistleblowers told CBS News and Congress it was a dangerous practice called "gunwalking," and it put thousands of weapons on the street. Many were used in violent crimes in Mexico. Two were found at the murder scene of a U.S. Border Patrol agent.

Do I honestly think that CBS is just now being made aware of this?  Nope.  Don't care either. I'm just mystified by one of the big three networks actually stopping their water carrying routine for a news story that's actually, you know, bad for the president.

Pop quiz, everyone!

What is the common denominator in these stories about the decline?




Here's a hint: when you slander and abuse and generally fuck with 1/2 of the population, the Red Foreman affect kicks in.



A handy Dandy List

Here is a list of all the senators that voted either for or against the Repeal of the Posse Comitatus act, or whatever it's called.

For those in the back of the classroom, the bill would have made it legal for the federal government to arrest american citizens, on american soil, and hold them indefinitely with no charges being brought against them.

I seem to remember something in history class about this sort of thing.  What was it?  Hmm. Must not have been that important.

"Assume at the outset your local statists will use a disaster to betray their oath and you."

Sensible advice on the looming unpleasantness from Ol Remus.  As usual he puts a homespun flavor on some pretty sobering words, making them a little easier to take.  So, I suppose you could call him the Appalachian Mary Poppins.

You know, if she was a dude and interested in surviving the collapse. And a real person.

So, really, not much like Mary Poppins at all.  But still, you should go read it.

Her bug out bag is practiaclly perfect in every way.

The code has (almost) finished compiling...

I've been working this out in my head for a while.  It's not entirely polished yet, but I had to write it to help me get to the last finish on it.  Deal with the imperfections as you wish.




Uh, the imperfections should be hard to miss...


So one of my major problems is with the generation directly previous to mine.  There are, in my rough estimate, fewer than ten members of that generation I wouldn't like to see suffer a painful death.  I've pointed out a few reasons why, but those aren't the real problem with the fucking hippies, they're just symptoms of the disease. (FYI: There is no "boomer," "baby boomer," or "me" generation any more; they've all turned into dity smelly hippies; the flat chested women are ugly and short haired, and the indifferently groomed men weak-willed, sad and emasculated.)

Her beard isn't quite as long as his.  Think about that sentence for a minute.

They've taught us that all men are rapists, all women are pure-hearted, and that all men are rapists.  They've given us the pick-up artist, the slut walk, the 5 foot tall 250 lb gorilla who demands a "real man," and the "sensitive male."



Title IX claims another victim.



Possibly worst of all, they've given us Grrrl Power, as if acting like a man is something women should be proud of.  They condemn the masculine impulse to be dominant (as differentiated from "dominating") unless it's expressed by a woman in flannels, work boots and a mullet.  Instead of 'acting like a lady' you're told 'well behaved women rarely make history' and encouraged to be abrasive, to distrust men, and to essentially revel in bitchiness.

And guys, we've been led to believe that sensitivity is a primary sex characteristic.  That not only should we have it, but if we don't we should probably be in jail. The smelliest generation led most of us to believe that being soft-hearted, having a good cry, and letting out our emotions were key to landing the ideal woman. A woman we were told shouldn't be too pretty but should have a great job, a fast car and not want kids until she's forty-five, or whenever she's done "finding herself."




She left her husband because she was bored. She used his money to travel the world to bone some dudes, sit in lotus for a week or so, and eat shitty foreign food.  Imagine writing a story about a dude doing that.
You can't, can you? It's amazing this woman didn't "find herself" brutally murdered upon her return to the states.

 You see what they did, right? They turned it on it's head. Just like a goddamned teenager will do with religion when they leave home for the first time, they took what worked and did the opposite. Unlike the hypothetical teenager (i.e. "ME") they never outgrew the rebellion for the sake of rebellion phase (also known as being an asshat).  In the same way the the perfect is the enemy of the good, the radical is the enemy of the useful.  Maybe change in sexual politics was needed, but now we'll never know because they broke it beyond fixing.

Oh, by the way

Now that I'm back on nights, I am apparently smarter than everyone in the world, or something.  I dunno.

Research examining various psychological correlates of circadian type (also known as diurnal preference) has been, over the years, quite expansive. A notable omission within this research program would appear a systematic exploration of the relation between intelligence and morningness–eveningness. The present study redressed this imbalance. 420 participants performed two self-report inventories assessing circadian type, as well as measures of intelligence from two psychometric batteries: CAM-IV and the ASVAB. The results indicate that, contrary to conventional folk wisdom, evening-types are more likely to have higher intelligence scores. This result is discussed in relation to current theories concerning the nature of human cognitive abilities.

Fear the Future

This seems like a really, really, really, really bad idea.

As it seeks to become a leader in robotic technology, South Korea is about to put a new type of droid through its paces: a robot prison guard.
Under a project sponsored by the Ministry of Justice, trials of the robots will be held for a month at a jail in the city of Pohang, southeast of Seoul, from March.
The robots are designed to patrol the corridors of corrective institutions, monitoring conditions inside the cells. If they detect sudden or unusual activity such as violent behavior they alert human guards.

I don't need to explain why this is a terrible plan, do I?