People are Very Strange, Indeed.

Rash of tuba thefts, yes, TUBA THEFTS, plagues Los Angeles.

Whatever happened to getting high and rolling a bum?  I just don't understand kids these days.

Fear the Future (yes, again... shut up.)

Apparently no one has ever heard of the blue screen of death.  Either that, or they wanted to see what it was like to witness a "literalized metaphor."

Cities could soon be looking after their citizens all by themselves thanks to an operating system designed for the metropolis.

The Urban OS works just like a PC operating system but keeps buildings, traffic and services running smoothly.
The software takes in data from sensors dotted around the city to keep an eye on what is happening.

So, you fucking morons are working to create the sort of thing that makes normal people lie awake in terror?  What could go wrong?

Quit being stupid, assholes.  They will straight up kill us.

It's a strange world

Someone ought to sell tickets.

More fun than a surprise enema, I'll bet.

Vampire Attacks Old Man's Face

Stephanie Meyer has a lot to answer for:

A Florida woman who claimed to be a “vampire” last night attacked an elderly man, biting him on the face and arm and tearing away chunks of his skin, according to police.

“I’m a vampire, I am going to eat you,” Smith announced before allegedly attacking Milton Ellis

Cletus the Slack Jawed Yokel Lives!

Or more precisely, his dumpy female cousin. 

Where I sit while I "work" looks out onto the main lobby which has both the entrance doors and the elevators.  I get to see a strange sort of disorganized parade every day with all the... ahem... colorful people who work and live in this town.

Today, one of the employees of the fine dining establishment Dominoes came to the building to deliver a pizza to the fifth floor, just about fifteen minutes ago.  She asked me how to get to the fifth floor.  I showed her the elevators, and she said "No, I mean how do they work?"

Me: "How do the elevators work? Really?"

Her: "Yeah, I've never been on one.  Is it fast?"

Being unable to respond politely or anywhere near appropriately, I took a breath and stepped back. Then, I asked where she was going, and told her to get in the elevator while I pushed the button.

It's been a while and she hasn't come back down.  I assume the nurses on five are having fun showing her things like toothbrushes and television.

Holy shit, son...

Pro tip: don't do this at work if you carry a gun for a living.  Otherwise, enjoy watching the walls melt...

And now that faith in mankind is gone.

Thanks a lot, science.  This is not okay.  This is the sort of shit that makes me glad I've installed a machine at the center of the earth that will kill humanity and it's cyber-overlords.  Especially our SINGING FREAKTASTIC cybernetic overlords.

Seriously, I'll do it.

New Reason to Smoke Pot

I didn't know this was a thing, even.

The twins now spend their time painting artworks and refurbishing furniture. They plan to enroll in college and said they hope to help legalize marijuana in all 50 states.

Apparently, not only does pot turn you into a big bag of other-accepting awesome-ness, it makes you unemployable.  Or, it could be that these two girls growed the fuck up about race, but are uselessly unemployable because they were raised by hillbilly hicks who worshipped hitler.

I mean, it's just possible.

Also, I'm tired of the pot-legalizers using marijuana's supposed healing powers and overall usefulness as a reason to legalize.  I'm down with people smoking pot, and if it were no longer illegal to do so, the world would be a hell of a lot nicer place.  But don't try to convince me you want it legalized because you want to make your own clothes, or rope, or because you have glaucoma.  I'm not stupid.

This ought to be interesting

In response to the FBI's hall-monitoring, the online group "Anonymous," those who were so entertaining in their work on Scientology over the last few years, have now turned their attention to the FBI.

What started it all was the city of Orlando arrested food terrorists who were handing out food to some homeless folks.  Anonymous got pissed and declared war.  Maybe a bit grand, but I like the idea of governments being held accountable for their actions.

Fear the Future

WHAT THE FUCK, MIT?  Seriously, you couldn't think of any other games to teach it, like maybe Mario, or Donkey Kong? Something with a slightly lower chance of the Robots killing us all?

Quisling bastards.

Also, one of the complaints about jello is that it's not vegetarian, so some food scientist comes up with this fucking gem of an idea.  You ever get the feeling that scientists are just messing with us?

The internets are making my head hurt.

Apparently, if you type the number 241543903 into google image search, it returns a bunch of dopes with their heads in a freezer.  I could look this up to find out why, but I'd rather just remain mystified by the hijinks of the intertubes.

still not art

What in the blue eyed hell?

What are you, stupid?

Why on earth would it seem like a good idea?  And why would you pay for the "priveledge?"  Seriously, Kiwis, get your shit together. 

What could go wrong?

I dunno, mentally controlling rats is one thing, but if this leads to "rehabilitating" criminals, don't say I didn't warn you.

What in the blue eyed hell?

Seriously nature, this is fucked up.  And this is the same nature that brought us the paper-sack mole, the most recent winner of the WTF NATURE? award for gross looking critters.  Well, here's the new reigning champion.

Not art.

I have a semi-real argument with my wife about "high fashion" or haute coture being labelled art.  She claims it is art, I claim you'd have to be smoking drugs to consider it so.

I think I win.

What... I don't even...

Okay, I know Dr. Oz is a charlatan, or at least is having a bromance with a charlatan, but what in the blue eyed hell is supernatural debt relief?  Do people honestly belive in this shit?  If so, they need to be remanded to the kids table for the rest of their lives.