Church = Jail time

Alternative sentenceing at it's worst.

All my childhood illusions are crumbling...

Dinosaurs have had feathers.  Where is your god now, 8 year old me?  No where, that's where.

Fear the Future (Fear Me edition...)

Apparently I am a robot.  I took this "visual turing test" and scored a pretty dismal 23 %.

I don't know whether to be appalled or thrilled.  I may be part of the ruling class after the robot apocalypse, after all.  I promise to be a firm but fair master.  Crucifiction will be reserved for only the most heinous of crimes.

This for example, will get you nailed to a cross and/or lit on fire.

I now no longer fear the end of the world

In fact, I welcome the end, if only to see the destruction of shit like this.  Yes, I know it's the logical extension of things like "metro-sexuality" and whatever, but this is seriously a bridge too far.  Someone, please, lets get a petition going to start Theater Wide Thermonuclear War, because now, the only way to lose is not to play the game...

Funny stuff

I know it's not supposed to be a secret girl fight between the candidates, but doesn't this look like Rick Perry got tired of someone's lip and slapped the shit out of him?

"Question me on proper credit for Texas' profitability?  I've got a question for you; what did five fingers say to the face?"

You're next, old man...

It's almost like it doesn't work

We had a minister come by the office today and offer us free rain gauges.  His church had a prayer meeting last month to pray for rain and an end to the drought. He said they'd had 200 or so rain gauges with bible verses on them (mat 7:7 - ask and it shall be given) but they haven't been able to give them away.  Not even to the people in his church who attended the prayer meeting.

I asked if he had one at home.  He said, "no, there hasn't been any need to put one up. Doesn't look like there will be any time soon, either."

He may have been the saddest looking preacher I've ever seen, and I almost feel bad for laughing at him.  If it weren't for the fact that he's a preacher and thereby deserves scorn and ridicule, that is. The slow dawning of comprehension is going to be painful for the south.

Suck it, bitches!

Vampire Attacks Old Man's Face

Stephanie Meyer has a lot to answer for:

A Florida woman who claimed to be a “vampire” last night attacked an elderly man, biting him on the face and arm and tearing away chunks of his skin, according to police.

“I’m a vampire, I am going to eat you,” Smith announced before allegedly attacking Milton Ellis

Day shift

Blogging will be light until I get moved back to night shift or win the lottery.

Fear the Future

What the fuck?  A UAV that not only surveils, but upon completion of said surveillance rams itself into the target and explodes?  Sounds awesome evil.

Also, I thought machine learning was something I used to scare myself, but apparently it's real, and it's happening now.  So, this then is how it will all end.  UAV bomb planes will learn to hate us, then kill us all.

Washington doesn't do decisions

From a guy I like to read:

Nothing can change things except the utter collapse of the US economy and the burning of its cities, a singularity the other side of which is not visible. Any possible sollution would require a decision. The US no longer does decisions. It can neither stop the drug traffic nor legalize it. It can neither win wars nor abandon them, neither make money nor stop spending it, neither stop immigration nor assimilate the immigrants. Washington can beat its thumb with a hammer, yes, and notice that it hurts, but it can't stop beating its thumb. That would take a decision, and Washington doesn't do decisions.

Fear the Future

I'm not worried about mini-robotic insects carrying lasers or bombs.  I'm worried about them carrying cameras and needles with poisons in them.  That's a much more practical fear.

Department of Job Creation

This seems like a good idea.

Others in the guitar world aren't so upbeat. Attorney Ronald Bienstock says the Gibson raids have aroused the guitar builders he represents because the Lacey Act is retroactive. He says they're worried they might be forced to prove the provenance of wood they acquired decades ago.

Wow, retroactive laws.

He's even warned clients to be wary of traveling abroad with old guitars, because the law says owners can be asked to account for every wooden part of their guitars when re-entering the U.S. The law also covers the trade in vintage instruments.

I'm sorry, what the hell is the point of this?  How could a vintage guitar be in any way responsible for current tree removal?

But I guess this is what happens when your #1 priority is job creation, right?  Right? This is what happens...

Pop Culture is Filth

I think I may begin a new series of posts on why the world deserves to burn. There should certainly be enough fodder that even if it stopped right now, I could have a new post every day for the rest of my life just catching up on the backlog of shitty human behavior.

Family, re-defined

You want to know what's scary?  Family can always get worse.

The Obama administration didn’t invent the phrase but has taken it to new heights.
“Under the direction of President Obama and Secretary Janet Napolitano, the entire federal family is leaning forward to support our state, tribal and territorial partners along the East Coast,” a FEMA news release declared Friday as Irene churned toward landfall.
The G-word — “government” — has been nearly banished, with FEMA instead referring to federal, state and local “partners” as well as “offices” and “personnel.”

So, if use of the term "Federal Family" has been incrementally increasing since the Clinton administration, when do you think they'll roll out the phrase "dear leader?"

Cake, Entropy, and Fuck the Hippies

A little deeper conversation about the grunge music scene, second wave gen-xers and fuck the hippies.

You could argue that grunge’s anger would eventually devolve into emo, and that the second-wave Generation X sub-culture would eventually degenerate into hipsterism… you could argue that, and you might even be right. But goddamn it, the Baby Boomers have romanced Woodstock ’69 into fucking the second coming of Jesus and the return of classic Coke all rolled into one; I feel entitled to a bit of indulgence, to pointing out how cool things were while ignoring what they’d eventually become. Maybe you could argue that this trend, this cultural entropy, is part of why Generation X has been largely ignored—I leave that as an exercise for the reader. Hell, make a blog post about it, and I’ll link to it, if you write that article…

Also check out his guide to gen-x.