What kinda phone you got?

I assume no one's really that surprised by this.  I mean, it's been in the works since the previous administration when the republicans thought it was a good idea.  It's to keep up safe, remember.  Duh.  Terrorists!

Actual Photo of Osama.  I'm pretty sure.

Still, it was driven home to me this week how ready the Feds and, more terrifyingly, the locals are to implement martial law.  Ready, hell.  More like eager.  I was in a class called MGT 312.  Our scenario, as befits a hospital, was preparing for a case of pandemic flu.  During the first part of the project, before the flu was even in the United States, we had people jumping over themselves to say, "We have to close all roads into our county, and we need to call Washington for the national guard."

Never mind that we'd actually call Gov. Perry for the guard.  Details.  Not important.

Shutting down access to the only veteran's hospital within hundreds of miles, because there was a flu in Mexico was the first answer. Not preparing to serve the potential influx of sick, not working with the locals to figure out what resources they need and whether we had or could get them, but jumping down a hole, pulling it in after us, and shooting anyone who tried to get in.

When I asked what our legal justification was for closing the roads, the answer FROM THE GUYS FROM FEMA was "we've already got that."

"WE'VE ALREADY GOT THAT."

That's it folks.  We're fucking done.  It's going to be an interesting few years coming up.

What the fuck is wrong with you people?

Seriously, not even wilco is this retarded.

In 2009, grandmother Sally Harpold was handcuffed and jailed in Indiana after she bought a box of Zyrtec-D cold medicine for her husband and a box of Mucinex D cold medicine for her adult daughter in less than a week.

So, what exactly?  She bought stuff legally in another state, used it legally in another state, and was jailed in YOUR fucking state?

I need a new god damned job.  I hate having to be represented by you god damned assholes.

Companies asking for "Internet Presence"

On the one hand it seems kind of silly.  Sort of dumbing down the hiring process for those retarded stepchildren we call gen-y.


On the other hand, they say they're getting better quality candidates, so it must have some merit.

This is gen-x.  Gen-Y is suddenly seeming a lot more qualified...

On the gripping hand, if it works to get qualified candidates, it will soon be illegal and racist.

Union Square Ventures recently posted an opening for an investment analyst.

Instead of asking for résumés, the New York venture-capital firm—which has invested in Twitter, Foursquare, Zynga and other technology companies—asked applicants to send links representing their "Web presence," such as a Twitter account or Tumblr blog. Applicants also had to submit short videos demonstrating their interest in the position.

So, is he saying he's a rapist?

Some councilman just admitted to being a rapist, I think.

“I would say to continue to advocate for the instrumentalities of violence is contrary to a large group of people in this community,” Brown said during Monday's meeting. “The fact that you see me standing up here, I represent that segment of this community, the community that often times you will find yourself dealing with in a negative manner.”

In late October, in the wake of an attempted rape at a popular park in Spartanburg County, Wright implored female residents to obtain concealed weapons permits, saying that residents need to fight back. The comments made national news and precipitated a spike in interest in concealed weapons classes.

Unless there has been a spate of white folks shooting black folks, this man needs to reconsider how he says things.  Essentially, he just said "I am a rapist, please don't shoot me."

My advice to politicians is simply this: "shut the fuck up, you lousy piece of shit."  This is also my advice to teenagers, straight people, gays, baby-boomers, gen-x douchebags, gen-y lard-asses,  the elderly,the religious, military members, civilians and cripples.  I can't wait until I'm asked to speak at a high school graduation. It's going to be the most popular lynching in history.   Ever since that naked jew on a stick about 2000 years ago, anyway.

Praetorian Class

I'm not entirely comfortable with this article.  I'm pretty sure that was the intent.

As they serve in their martial role, members of the Praetorian Class learn to despise members of the Political Class and to view the plight of the Economic Class with detachment or even contempt. Law enforcement and military personnel will converse behind closed doors about the most horrific injustices and brutalities with cavalier amusement. While perhaps natural, their training for violence and teamwork is a fundamental cause for why members of the Praetorian Class abandon their roots and in time come to view their peers "back on the farm" with contempt. Likewise, the steady displays of the craven and treacherous character of the Political Class causes the Praetorian Class to privately disavow emotional allegiance to their masters, usually early in their service.

The author has clearly served either as a cop or in the military, or both.

I've always been uncomfortable with being a cop, now I'm beginning to think it might be immoral.

Wait...

You plot revenge for thirty years, and this is the best you've got?  Wow.  You fail at being a crazy axe-wielding maniac, and I know for certain thats a career field with pretty low standards.  You don't even need community college to start out.

David Millington, 37, then launched an attack on a security guard at a Morrisons in Wolverhampton over a grudge he had held since he was seven years old.
He went to the supermarket wearing a tool belt that contained kitchen knives and a makeshift shield, the city's crown court heard.
Millington chased Andrew Osbourne, who he knew from his childhood, through the store before being tackled to the ground by manager Michael Walsh.

 

It was time to lie

We all have them, the times when you have to lie.  Maybe not every day, and some of us more, or less, than others.  In my most generous, I think of these lies as RAH described politeness, the lubricant that keeps the machinery of society going, machinery that doesn't work too well at the best of times.

"What do you think of this outfit?"

"What do you think about my friend?"

"This is my band's demo album, what do you think?"

We all lie.  Some of us better than others, but typically it's not lying to hurt someone, but the opposite: lying to save their feelings.  I'm not good at this type of lie and consequently I don't participate much. I'm generally seen as an asshole, because unless you're a friend or my kids, I don't like you enough to lie about things.
Chances are better than good that I hate your friends (and you!) and your outfit makes you look like you belong in a circus run by retarded people and your band should burn their instruments and go to accounting school.

This guy just heard your album.  You can see he's impressed.

Sometimes though, I'm clever enough to realize that not liking someone doesn't mean I have to tell them the ungarnished truth.  Sometimes, it's okay to lie, even to people I DON'T LIKE.

Like today.

"What did you think about that (incredibly long and pointless) training?" (It was about not allowing negativity to enter the workplace.  Seriously?  I'm a fucking cop.  Negativity is the reason I have a job, retard.)

It was time to lie.



 

On the one hand, I'd like to see the whole thing collapse faster...

... on the other hand, if this did happen and the economy cratered, they'd just do more bullshit just like it.

Rep. Jesse Jackson Jr. has offered his own $804 billion jobs plan that calls on the federal government to hire the nation’s 15 million unemployed Americans for jobs paying roughly $40,000 each, and bail out all the states and cities facing budget crises.

On the gripping hand, though, it'll hasn't got a chance in hell of passing.  We're not quite THAT far down the path to outright communism. 



It's this kind of party, but for the economy.



This is obviously not a scam of any sort

Let's put this in the list of "jobs I wish I had, but never will, because life kinda sucks that way."

Department of Job Creation

This seems like a good idea.

Others in the guitar world aren't so upbeat. Attorney Ronald Bienstock says the Gibson raids have aroused the guitar builders he represents because the Lacey Act is retroactive. He says they're worried they might be forced to prove the provenance of wood they acquired decades ago.

Wow, retroactive laws.

He's even warned clients to be wary of traveling abroad with old guitars, because the law says owners can be asked to account for every wooden part of their guitars when re-entering the U.S. The law also covers the trade in vintage instruments.

I'm sorry, what the hell is the point of this?  How could a vintage guitar be in any way responsible for current tree removal?

But I guess this is what happens when your #1 priority is job creation, right?  Right? This is what happens...

False Barrier to entry?

The Equal Employment Oppoirtunity Commission is suing Old Dominion Freightlines of Arkansas for discrimination against those with a self-reported disability: Alcoholism.

This seems like a legitimate reason not to hire someone.  Not because they drink, but because they're too stupid to know that if they admit to being a booze-hound on the application for a job that requires sobriety (stop laughing, right now...) they're too stupid to get the job. I mean, how many sober truck drivers have you ever met?  I can count on the fingers of one ear how many I know.  Still, being dumb enough to make sure the company will take the blame for any accident you cause because of your "disability" is a legitimate barrier to entry into any job, right?

That's my theory at least. 

Mental Health Fit Test

I've got an appointment with the staff psychologist tomorrow morning.  We don't get on well at all.  For some reason over the past 18 months or so he has consistently tried to cheer me up.

"Smile! It's a great day!"

"Drop dead, loser."

"What?"

"You heard me doc.  Don't tell me what to do."

That was one of the most productive meetings we've shared.  I see this guy a lot, which is weird because I work nights, and he's a day-walker.  Our paths shouldn't cross.  I'm convinced he's made a project of me, which will no doubt signal to him that I need to be made into a project.  At our last session a year ago he asked why I was so depressed.  I told him I didn't think I was (and can I please go home to sleep?).  He insisted.  Said that my being angry was a symptom of depression.

How can you get an advanced degree in psychology without understanding that anger is sometimes just anger?  At the time of that session last year I was working 7 days a week and 16 hours a day.  I hadn't seen my kid for more than five minutes at a time in a month.  My partner had just put in his two weeks notice, meaning I was going to be the only cop on shift.  My chief had just quit the post about two minutes ahead of being fired for 6 months of drunk on duty and chasing off all the cops that worked for her. I was looking at 16 hours a day in charge of night security for a place where I get in fights about once a week with crazy people who's only crime was being off their meds or on the wrong ones.  I was pissed.

And this asshole says I should smile.

"Smiles are free, man, don't keep them to yourself!"

"Fuck off you god damned hippie shit."

Tomorrow is going to be interesting.  I described what I though about psychology to him last week during one off his "coincidental" visits to the cop shop. For the first time he left without that stupid grin of his.  He asked me why he never seens me smile, even now that we have "enough officers."

"What do you mean enough?  What the fuck is enough?"

"Well you've got all these new guys..."

"Not one of whom carry a gun, or have a badge or can stand a shift."

"But they're about to go to the academy, right?  They'll be back soon and you can have some time off."

"You mean the academy that not one person from this station has completed since february of last year?  The one that I was the last officer to come out of for this station?  That academy?  These four men aren't going to be any help, they're just four more opportunities to be disappointed."

"That's no way to look at it."

"How would you look at it, doc?  Would you bet large on a player with a .100 batting average?"

"It's not like that."

"Drop dead.  It is exactly like that.  In two years they've fucked up the hiring on 9 out of 10 people who've applied for the job.  Four of them are still here for some reason.  Leave me alone, I have work to do."

Tomorrow, 0830.  Should be great.

The UK has it's priorities straight.

Perky Boobs are more important than almost anything.

Dr Joanna Scurr said everyday bras do not provide enough  support, which can lead to pain and even sagging.
An expert in breast movement, she said sports bras should be a compulsory part of PE kit, being as essential as mouthguards worn for hockey or rugby.

How the fuck can I get THAT job?  I know maybe ten people on earth I WOULDN'T kill for the opportunity to be paid as an "expert in breast movement."